Depression is a common mental health condition, affecting around 332 million people worldwide, according to the World Health Organization. While people with depression often respond well to treatment, men are less likely to get diagnosed and treated for depression. So why is that?

In the United States, the social norms around masculinity or “manliness” are a major factor. Traditionally, these norms have focused on men being strong, emotionally reserved and self-sufficient. This is where sayings like “boys don’t cry” and “man up” come from. We know now that this view of masculinity is unhelpful and unrealistic, causing men to see their own emotions and the act of asking for help as signs of personal weakness rather than natural parts of being human. Stigma around mental health conditions and simply not knowing the signs of depression can also be factors.

While men experience many of the same symptoms as other groups of people, how they experience those symptoms can vary. Some signs of depression in men may also look different to the people around them. Keep reading to learn what symptoms of male depression can look like and what you can do to help.

Signs and symptoms of depression in men to watch for

There are several common symptoms of depression that people can experience but every person is different. However, the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) found that depressed men may be more likely to experience:

  • Low energy
  • Anger
  • Decreased interest in usual activities

Other symptoms of depression men can experience

In addition to the above symptoms, men can also experience common depression symptoms like:

  • Low mood (feeling sad, empty, hopeless)
  • Unintentional weight changes
  • Hypersomnia (excessive sleepiness) or insomnia
  • Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt
  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • Social withdrawal or isolation
  • Increased alcohol and drug use
  • Recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal ideation and suicide attempts

It’s also important to know that symptoms of depression can be common in men who’ve recently become a parent. In fact, somewhere around 10% of men will experience anxiety and depression as they become a parent.

Why signs of depression in men aren’t always obvious

Generally speaking, men can find it difficult to openly acknowledge depressive symptoms. Instead, some may use one or more of the following strategies, consciously or unconsciously:

  • Masking symptoms – Sometimes it can be hard to admit how we really feel, even to ourselves. And common myths and stigmas about mental health conditions make it even harder to be open with friends and family. It’s common for men with depression to only focus on or report symptoms that overlap with those of other conditions, like headaches, digestive issues, sleep issues and irritability. Alternatively, some may find that they try to avoid their feelings through escapism or risky behavior. Also, a person’s culture can have a big impact on how they interpret mental health symptoms and whether they feel comfortable seeking help.
  • Avoiding the topic – Even when we suspect that something’s wrong, it can still be hard to talk about. This may stem from embarrassment or a fear of how people will see us.
  • Resisting treatment – Some men believe that it’s their responsibility to handle their own issues, even when those issues are symptoms of a mental health condition. Some may also believe that depression will go away with time. But in many cases, depression continues or gets worse without proper treatment.

Treatments for male depression are often used in combination

Generally, a combination of therapy, lifestyle changes and medicine is most effective for treating depression. The exact combination varies, because mental health experts build treatment plans based on a person’s individual needs. For example:

  • Lifestyle changes such as regular exercise, dietary changes and mindfulness activities can help relieve stress and boost quality of life.
  • Mental health medications can help manage symptoms that may be more difficult to control, either temporarily or longer term.
  • Talk therapy can provide a space to talk about feelings without fear of judgement, strategies for coping with symptoms and help identify deeper issues that may be contributing to feelings and behaviors.

More advanced treatments can be helpful depending on personal needs or symptom intensity

In cases where typical treatments aren’t effective, more advanced care from a mental and behavioral health specialist may help. One example is transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS). In TMS, magnetic pulses are used to stimulate nerve cells in the part of the brain that controls mood, which is often underactive in people with depression. Many people describe it as feeling like a “tapping” in your head, and it has been proven to have an antidepressant effect on people with depression.

If depression is severe enough that it’s significantly interfering with daily life, there are inpatient and outpatient services that can help. The right combination can provide the stability and support needed to make progress.

How can you help a man with depression?

The first step in helping men with depression is making the topic okay to talk about. If you’re talking to a man with depression, focus on the fact that depression isn’t a character trait or flaw. Depression isn’t a part of who someone is as a person. It’s a health condition, like diabetes or cancer, and getting treatment for a health condition is nothing to be ashamed of – it’s just what you do to feel better.

1. Meet men where they are

Offer support like you would to anyone else struggling with depression. It’s important to listen to and validate their experience. Sometimes, the way someone is feeling might not make sense to you, but you can still communicate that you hear them and respect what they’re saying or feeling. Avoid offering unsolicited advice, and instead offer to help them access treatment.

2. Start young

For parents, normalizing healthy views on male mental health can start early. Teach kids how to take care of their mental health and encourage them to be open about their emotions. Have conversations with boys about what it means to be masculine. Show them that you accept and love them for who they are. This is valuable for several reasons.

For one, it helps kids get their self-worth from within themselves, rather than from social norms. It also builds self-assurance and resilience that will help them navigate the challenges life brings. In addition, modeling this for kids helps them see value in other people for who they are, rather than how they compare to societal standards.

3. Take comments about their mental health seriously

Don’t ignore comments about suicide and self-harm. If someone is brave enough to share this with you, it’s their way of asking for support. Different counties have different numbers you can call for mental health crisis services. Many counties have mobile crisis teams. If someone is at risk of harming themselves or others, call 988.

It’s not just okay to talk about depression in men, it’s important

If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of depression or another mental health condition, help is available. A primary care doctor or clinician can provide all types of everyday care, including mental health care.

They’ll talk with you, your friend or your loved one about symptoms and recommend treatment next steps. And if needed, they can refer you to a mental and behavioral health specialist for additional care.