It was the most isolating and difficult time of my life. I didn’t know what to do. My mind wasn’t at work - it was on trying to keep my family well.
I knew I had to tell my manager what was going on. Life was chaotic and unmanageable.
I had to take time off to get my son, Ryan, into inpatient treatment for opioid misuse, be available to meet with his counselors, and attend family therapy.
I had a good relationship with my manager so I decided to take a leap of faith and tell him. It was very stressful and I broke down in our meeting. I described the situation I faced. I was lucky that he was very supportive and understanding.
My husband, however, wasn’t as lucky to have such an empathetic supervisor. He couldn’t take time off. As a result, his stress level increased.
Heading: Create a supportive work environment
It’s essential for employers to create a compassionate work environment where employees feel comfortable going to their manager if they are experiencing work-life balance issues. Managers have to convey that they want to help their employees navigate through their challenges by providing resources and support.
Beyond my manager, deciding who to share my story with was difficult. I ultimately discussed it with my co-workers on my small team so they could help cover my work between scheduled appointments and realize why I may be distracted and out of sorts. Team members are also affected when a co-worker is struggling with life events. I also appreciated it when my manager checked in with me to understand the latest updates with my situation.
When my son died of an opioid overdose, it was the most devastating, darkest, loneliest period in my life. Employees have five days of funeral leave, if they are lucky. However, my director personally called me and let me know to focus on my family and to take as much time as I needed.
The grief was overwhelming and I carry it with me daily. You have your own emotions to tend to as well as your spouse, children, and extended family.
When I returned to work, my co-workers were so comforting.
They knew they may find me crying at my desk and that it was okay. My manager and director offered their offices to me at any time, knowing I would need a safe place.
Immersing myself in work was actually my escape – the one thing that could keep me distracted for just a small part of my day.
Having an understanding, kind manager and team, definitely made things bearable and much more manageable. I knew I had support in my workplace.
Reduce stigma in the workplace
Employers must know that anyone can be affected by a substance use disorder (SUD). We’re currently beyond epidemic levels – one in three families are affected.
Yet there is so much stigma around the issue. Some people think that people use opioids by choice. That’s just not true – it’s a disease. I hear this so often from people I know as well as strangers. My response is, “I’m sorry you feel that way. I would love to educate you on what I’ve learned.”
Ryan lived with depression and anxiety. I believe he used opioids to self-medicate as a coping mechanism, revealing the strong connectivity between substance use and mental health. Over two years, he was in and out of residential treatment four times. His addiction started with marijuana, then moved to prescription opioids. He would steal or get opioids from family and friends – including using the leftover Vicodin in our medicine cabinet at home from when I had back surgery. It’s vital to get rid of any unused prescriptions for exactly this reason! It’s scary how powerful this disease is. Eventually, it led Ryan to heroin use, overdose and death.
Being honest and open about what it’s like to have a SUD can create awareness, understanding and empathy. The issue at large is that we are definitely not talking about substance use and mental health as openly as we should in the workplace. HealthPartners’ Make It Ok campaign can help employers start the conversation through a toolkit that includes PowerPoint presentations, videos, handouts, newsletter copy, and more to bring awareness to these issues and how to address them.
Host trainings and lunch and learn events to educate staff on the signs and symptoms, how to respond, and the resources available. Ryan’s symptoms included losing weight, moodiness, headaches, nausea, vomiting, muscle aches, bone aches, intense cramping in his limbs and wearing long sleeved shirts and jeans in hot weather.
A symptom of a potential opioid overdose is extreme drowsiness and respiratory depression, or shortness of breath to the point the person could stop breathing. Through the Steve Rummler Network, I became a Naloxone/Narcan trainer. This medication is used to reverse an opioid overdose and it could have saved Ryan’s life were it available at his sober living house.
I’ve hosted Naloxone/Narcan trainings at my work and in the community, and the positive responses were overwhelming! The trainings were packed, which reveals the need and desire for this type of information. These trainings are very useful, enabling attendees to carry this life-saving medication.
Make recovery resources available
What really became my lifeline through all the grief, were support groups made up of parents and caregivers who were going through the same thing I was. The St. Paul Police Department has a great group called Survivor Resources for individuals who have lost a loved one due to homicide, suicide, accidents, or overdose. It’s important to attend a support group with others that know what you are going through. Identify these resources in your community. Often your local NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) chapter can help.
These experiences inspired me to become a peer recovery coach. Peer recovery coaches are trained to help people living with substance use disorders create recovery plans. They have personal or family experience with substance use, enabling them to provide relatable support, empathy, and concern.
Identifying a peer recovery coach to speak with your employees, host groups, or meet one-on-one, can be beneficial. I volunteer through the Minnesota Recovery Connection, which is a valuable resource.
All employees should also have information and access to an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) through their health insurance. An EAP can offer referrals, and advice for emotional well-being, financial and legal concerns, relationships, work and career issues, senior life, and much more. All information shared through HealthPartners’ EAP is confidential and will not be shared with your employer.
Other important health plan services include Medication Therapy Management (MTM) and complex case management. Enrollment in MTM is free, and you can get support managing your various prescriptions, ensuring they are the right mix, they are safe, and effective for your lifestyle.
Complex case management is also free and completely confidential through HealthPartners’ plans. If you’re hospitalized or identified as at-risk for hospitalization based on claims data and diagnoses for multiple conditions, HealthPartners nurses reach out to you to ensure you are receiving the right care to aid in your recovery.
Actively support those in recovery
I’ve found through my experience that people who are in recovery are the strongest, most courageous people I know. I’ve attended groups led by people in recovery and I have learned so much from them about this disease: Life is not perfect; be understanding; be kind; and ask how you can help.
Creating awareness about opioids in the workplace can save lives. For example, I shared my story about Ryan in our employee e-newsletter and a supervisor at another location saved this information. Five years later, an employee on his team approached him and told him he had a child struggling with drug use. The manager remembered my story and my name and said he should reach out to me. I received a call from that employee, asking for support and guidance. Many people at HealthPartners reach out to me about a friend, colleague or loved one. I don’t have the answers but I can share my story and more importantly — listen.
I want to provide hope, education, and support in order to try and prevent this from happening to other individuals and families.
I continue to fight for Ryan, and all of our loved ones. I will never stop.